As the due date of our son approaches (30 days now), I have been calmly readying myself for the day of his birth. As I have mentioned, my sense of anxious expectation has waned, blessedly, this time around. I’m just trying to rest in the day, in the gifts of the present and to not skip ahead, which I have a weakness for doing. God, in his grace, has allowed for a special window of time for us to bond with Karolina before our family changes again. This past year and this pregnancy, have been so remarkably different, and I thank God for the cross of infertility that has miraculously led to this point. I was finally at peace with the thought of no longer being able to carry and birth a child. Yet, here we are.
And I may not pass this way again.
So, every sleepless night I’ve been experiencing, every hiccup and elbow-poke, I’ve been trying to etch into my heart for safe keeping. I’ve also been very much enjoying listening to the soundtrack of the Nativity Story. The album is normally tucked away in our stack of Christmas music, but our own nativity is quickly approaching and it’s offered much to contemplate as I am reminded over, and over again that the Author of Life is gifting us with a holy soul, just as He did with Karolina, Gabriel, Grant and Garrett. I intend to listen to this music during labor. To pray, to praise God for the gift of pain, birth, and new life.