Just a quick check-in. As I type this, my due date is less than 1 day away, and still no sign of baby making his debut. I have to confess that the last two weeks have been very challenging, and every morning I wake up and pray today is “the day.” Lack of sleep has played a major role, so now that I’m officially on maternity leave, I’m hoping rest will give my body a renewed strength.
Patience has never been my strong suit. God knows that, which is why I think He keeps trying to teach it to me…but I’m just having a hard time mastering that particular virtue! Over, and over again.
I think the most frustrating part, is that I DO know better. During our years of infertility, I begged God to allow me to carry another child, and that I would learn to appreciate it more than I had in the past. I’ve always been in awe of the miracle of life, but this time I thought, I would not be so weak and selfish as to complain after knowing the pain of not being able to conceive. And I have failed.
Over the weekend I was confiding to a friend just how uncomfortable I am, but it was then that I think God opened my eyes to something.
For this child, we have waited over 4 and a half years. If it wasn’t for his “delay,” we would not have our precious daughter Karolina. The timing of all of it worked out perfectly, although (like most things) I couldn’t see God’s “tapestry” until it was already woven and complete. If we could wait all those years for this child, and stick it out… I think I can handle a few more days. 🙂
In asking God to forgive my foolish, weak ways, I ran across this prayer. Time to exhale, relax, and TRY to be more patient. 🙂
“Lord, teach me to be patient – with life, with people,and with myself. I sometimes try to hurry things along too much, and I push for answers before the time is right. Teach me to trust Your sense of timing rather than my own and to surrender my will to Your greater and wiser plan. Help me let life unfold slowly, like the small rosebud whose petals unravel bit by bit, and remind me that in hurrying the bloom along, I destroy the bud and much of the beauty therein.
Instead, let me wait for all to unfold in its own time. Each moment and state of growth contains a loveliness. Teach me to slow down enough to appreciate life and all it holds. Amen.”